Kathy White

“Blessed are those who mourn, for they shall be comforted.” Matthew 5:4

“Praise be to the God and Father of our Lord Jesus Christ, the Father of compassion and the God of all comfort, who comforts us in all our troubles, so that we can comfort those in any grief with the comfort we ourselves receive from God.” 2 Corinthians 1:3

I cannot let this season pass without considering all those who have lost a loved one this year, who will be setting one less place around the Christmas table, buying one less gift, giving or getting one less hug and kiss. Yes, as believers in Christ, we are those who carry within us the promise of the greatest hope of all – that we have been moved from the kingdom of darkness to the kingdom of light and that in receiving Christ as our Lord and Savior, we have been given the gift of eternal life in Him. So, for each of us, death is not the end of the story. It is a beginning. A beginning of a different life. We look forward beyond death to a life in Christ, with Christ, lived in fullness and in community with other believers and the saints who have gone before us to that glorious place called heaven. As believers, we have confidence that the promise and the hope of heaven are part of a hope that has not, does not and will not disappoint us.

And yet. Yet deep grief, a profound sense of loss, and mourning are not to be discounted, or lightly set aside. Our Lord and Savior was himself a man of sorrows, and He knew what it was to grieve. He also knew that death was the final enemy to be put under his feet. His death on the cross was the ultimate source of victory over both sin and death. Jesus is the pathway to life eternal. We can believe this and stake our lives upon the truth of this, but still be sad, lonely, and filled with grief when someone we love dies. Grief and hope are not mutually exclusive emotions. They can co-exist at the same time. Our gift to ourselves and to others who are grieving is to acknowledge and to enter that place where both exist with them.

I lost my father when I was a child. The situation and the circumstances necessitated that we bury him on Christmas Eve. For so many years, my Christmases were spent desperately trying to cover up, ignore or deny the deep loss I always felt when Christmas rolled around. It took a long time for me to admit that Christmas made me terribly sad when everyone around me seemed so happy. I had nowhere to go with my grief, and I was embarrassed and ashamed that I still felt so much sadness.

Grief has no expiration date. For some grief and mourning pass quickly, for others the process takes more time. We must be gentle and tender with those who are mourning. We can offer comfort and acknowledgement of their loss.

Pray for those who carry the burden of grief this Christmas. Pray that the God of all comfort will allow us to be of comfort to them in their hour of need. May we not turn aside from those with heavy hearts or ignore the heaviness we might feel in their presence. May we be those who offer compassion, empathy and kindness to all who mourn and in doing so, bring hope and strength to their hearts.

Trust in the Lord with all thine heart and lean not unto thine own understanding. In all thy ways acknowledge Him and He will direct thy paths. Proverbs 3:5-6

Is this the little girl I carried?

Is this the little boy at play?

I don’t remember growing older

When did they?

When did she get to be a beauty?

When did he grow to be so tall?

Wasn’t it yesterday

When they were small?

Sunrise, sunset

Sunrise, sunset

Swiftly flow the days

Seedlings turn overnight to sunflowers

Blossoming even as we gaze

Sunrise, sunset Sunrise, sunset

Swiftly fly the years

One season following another

Laden with happiness and tears

What words of wisdom can I give them?

How can I help to ease their way?

Sunrise, sunset

Sunrise, sunset

Swiftly fly the years

One season following another

In the musical Fiddler on the Roof, the main male character Tevye and his wife Golde sing this beautiful song at the wedding of their daughter. The lyrics reference how quickly time passes and how poignant the passage of time is for each of us who are parents or are those who are shepherding younger ones along the way. One day you are holding an infant in your arms and the next day you are watching your own child parent his or her children.

Each time I hear this song, I am especially struck by the poignancy of the refrain:

What words of wisdom can I give them? How can I help to ease their way? Sunrise, sunset, swiftly fly the years

To be a giver of words of wisdom – is that not a deep desire of every parent, grandparent, aunt, uncle, teacher, mentor, or coach?

Would it not be amazing if wisdom could be packaged, purchased and given to another just like a gift?

Would you believe me if I were to tell you that this is precisely the case? The wisdom of God is already packaged, purchased and freely available to all who ask. In other words, the Wisdom of the Ages is right at your fingertips. Do not bother to go looking for it in the grocery stores or in the aisles of Walmart or Target. Look instead on your bookshelf or your bedside table.

There sits your Holy Bible, God’s inspired word – his Logos, which is God-breathed and literally power-packed with wisdom. And it is just sitting there, waiting for you. And the price has already been paid through the person of Jesus Christ who has granted us 100% access to God through His shed blood on the cross. So this wisdom that often proves to be so elusive, is actually available all the time. It never runs out, never needs replenishing, and continually flows out of the heart of our God towards his people.

In the first chapter of the Book of James God tells us, “If any of you lacks wisdom, let him ask, and it shall be given without reproach.” Without reproach is a fancy way of saying without shame, without guilt, or without fault-finding. If you need wisdom, you are told just to ask. Thankfully, wisdom is something that God is not frugal about giving away. In fact, God is as generous with his wisdom in precisely the same way that he is lavish with his love. It is his joy and delight to give you, his children, his wisdom.

And do not worry, God will not hold your previous record of poor and foolish choices against you. He will not hold your wayward, fickle heart against you. He will not look at you and say that it is too late or that you have blown all your chances. In fact one of the best things he says in all of scripture (in my book, anyway), is that his mercies are new every morning. Each day you can wake up and start over if you need to. You can dedicate your day to following the way of Christ, asking for wisdom each step of the way. The days when I take the time and am wholeheartedly devoted to this approach certainly seem to be more peace-filled than the days when I am relying on my own wisdom, my own strength and my own understanding. I do not know about you, but I am recommitting myself to asking God for his wisdom…whether it be daily, hourly or moment by moment.

“For lo the winter is passed, the rain is over and gone. The flowers appear on the earth; the time of the singing of birds is heard and the voice of the turtledove is heard in our land.” Song of Solomon 2:1

In Middle Tennessee, spring is a time for rejoicing. Everywhere you turn, there is beauty on display. From the early heralds of flowering quince and forsythia, spring in Tennessee gradually builds until we awaken one day to find ourselves immersed in a world that belies description – from the tiny wildflowers that hide among the grasses to the daffodils and narcissus, from the white, pink and red azaleas to the sweet dogwood – all testify in their own way to the marvelous glory of God. I grew up in Florida where the lines between seasons were blurred at best and had never truly experienced the advent and glory of spring until I moved to Tennessee. Each spring I find myself marveling at the hand of God as spring gloriously unfolds before us. It never fails to remind me, not only of the Lord’s love of beauty in nature, but also of the beauty that he puts within humanity itself.

And it is not only beauty that each man and woman on this earth carries, but a reflection of the Creator himself. I am reminded at times of the words of C.S. Lewis who tells us that “There are no ordinary people…”, and indeed there are not. As my life begins to gradually open up again, I am finding that I have never encountered more beautiful people! Perhaps it is because quarantine and isolation served as a long season of winter in my life, and now that I am visiting the grocery store and my neighborhood pharmacy and even venturing further afield to the garden store and other places, I am awakening to the true beauty of humanity and how each person is an image bearer of our great God. It is as though I am encountering a deep and true spring in my heart for the first time in a long time. I do not know about you, but I sense that a burden has been lifted. I am grateful. Deeply grateful. And I am determined not to let this awakening slip into obscurity. I am longing for the Lord to give me the opportunity and the courage to share His great love and His longing for deep relationship with each person I encounter. Would you pray that we would all awaken to the joy that is ours as children of the Living God and be willing to share it unreservedly?

“Dear friends, let us love one another, for love comes from God.” 1 John 4:7

“Restore to me the joy of your salvation, and uphold me with a willing spirit.” Psalm 51:12

Different things matter. Take nothing for granted. Grieve what has been lost but rejoice in what has been given. It is still the best gift of all time. Immanuel, God with us.

For has He not promised never to forsake or abandon His people? Has He not promised to be with us to the end of the age? Has He not promised neither to slumber nor sleep or to turn His face aside but instead to continually hear our prayers and to intercede before the Heavenly Father on our behalf?

Make no mistake: The throne that Isaiah described is still filled with the glory and wonder of our glorious God. And seated on the right hand of the throne is our beloved King Jesus, the author and finisher of our salvation. He alone is the giver of all good and perfect gifts and there is no shadow or turning with Him. He is not the least bit surprised at whatever fiery trials have come upon us this year, for has He not told us that in our lives it would be so?

And yet, with outstretched arms, He bids us come – ever loving, ever faithful – offering us the gift of Himself. Let us fix our eyes upon Him and not lose sight of all that He has done. The Son of God, the Lamb who was slain for the remission of our sins. The greatest debt of all time, the debt of every man’s sin, paid once and for all.

Come, marvel once again with me. For into that stable rude and dark and pungently scented with the smell of unwashed animals, came the soft cries of the Savior of the world. It was not what anyone would have expected for a long-awaited king, but to the shepherds who saw the skies filled with singing angels and heard those selfsame voices announcing the arrival of the Messiah, it seemed exactly right. These shepherds would never have been welcomed to the house of any earthly king. In fact, they would have been denied entrance to all but the humblest of homes. And so it was fitting for them (and for us) that it was to the most rude of all homes– a place that usually housed only animals – that they were improbably sent to worship a newborn king.

Think of the irony: that of all those who would later hear the word of the arrival of this special One, the very first who came to worship were the only ones who would have been completely at home in that rude, cramped, smelly place. They thought nothing of kneeling on the filthy straw, and they were neither confused nor frightened by the sounds and smells of the animals who were sheltering there with Mary and Joseph and the child. The shepherds knew it well.  It was home to them.

For these shepherds, once they got over their initial fear, were soon filled with an undeniable and powerful hope. It compelled them to leave their flocks to go and find the child. Somehow these shepherds already understood that this child was to be one of them. How they marveled at the joy of His humble birth, heralded by brilliantly shining angels.

Do not fear, for among you is born this day in the city of David a Savior who is Christ the Lord. And this shall be a sign unto you. Ye shall find the babe, wrapped in swaddling cloths and lying in a manger. Luke 2:11-12

Hear the words: for AMONG you. Feel the hope rising in their hearts. He is one of you. He will be WITH you and you will be WITH Him. Immanuel.

Come and bow before Him. Come worship the King.

The shepherds to whom the angels appeared had no clue what the future would portend for the newborn child. But as they knelt in the darkness of the cave and took turns gazing upon the face of the little one, I am all but certain that the wonder of the glory of the Lord was still upon them. It was no accident of fate, no unusual twist or turn that brought these shepherds, rude, unwashed and humble men who held the lowliest of jobs, to be the first to worship the newborn King.

In the words of Matthew 20:28, For even as the Son of Man came not to be served, but to serve and to give His life as a ransom for many.

It is to King Jesus, we still come, not with trappings of gold or crowns of our own. We come with the only things He will accept – empty hands, a willing heart, and a desire to follow wherever He will lead us.

In the midst of all the uncertainty that fills our world, let us renew our faith by joining with the shepherds to bow down in wonder and worship the King.

Merry Christmas

Immanuel: God with Us

Still the best news we will ever know!

For the eyes of the LORD roam to and fro over all the earth, to show Himself strong on behalf of those whose hearts are fully devoted to Him. 2 Chronicles 16:9

In the continuum of life, there are ties that bind us to past and present and to future. My family of origin is a family that relishes ties and celebrates traditions, especially when it comes to the celebration of major holidays (Thanksgiving, Christmas and Easter). And when my husband and I were establishing our own family, we found that we tended to imitate the pattern that had been laid out before us by our parents and our grandparents before them. It was our “default” setting, and for the longest time neither of us ever thoughtfully considered whether we needed to alter our celebrations in any way, even when the job of hosting was passed along to us.  

However, as I have aged and my family has grown, I learned and am still learning that what worked well in the past just might no longer work today. Ever so gently and so faithfully, the Lord has been giving me the courage to let go of the past that shaped me and be open to embracing new traditions, to make new memories, although it is not always what I really want to have happen. And if I am to be totally honest, my husband and I have both really struggled to let go of our some of our “cast in stone” traditions. Neither of us realized how entrenched we were in having things “just so” until we were confronted with the reality of changing everything up.

When I listen to the prodding of the Holy Spirit, I know that this is the right and good thing – to let go of what I have held on to so tightly, even if it no longer makes good sense and it is more my tight-fisted idea of what I think family celebrations should look like or even how a family should be when they are together than what scripture teaches me about the beauty and variety of God’s family. As I was pondering all of this one day, the Lord ever so gently led me to that verse in 2 Timothy 3:5 about turning away from those who cling to the form of godliness but deny the power of it. Slowly I began to see that I was clinging to tradition and forgetting what the original purpose of that established traditional gathering was: to bring family and people together to celebrate the goodness of God and to glorify and thank Him.

I do not know how it is with you, but when the Lord desires me to see something in a different way, it usually takes me a while. I have a lot of “but what about this or that” moments in my quiet time with the Lord that usually equate to me defending the status quo. Ultimately, the Lord is so patient with me, and he tenderly and lovingly leads me to a place of surrender. Surrender for me is that place when I finally open my heart and clenched hands and lay everything before Him and just wait (sometimes for a long time) for Him to show me the way, His way.

So what does the reality of this look like in my life and maybe yours? Our Thanksgiving celebration is on the Friday after Thanksgiving and this year it will be a decidedly “untraditional” meal of pasta. I do not even like the taste of turkey, but boy was that one hard to let go of! And if we want to see my large family at Christmas, we have had to move our celebration to Christmas Eve, and understand that some family members might have to work, some might have to travel, and some might have other side of the family plans. However, in God’s mercy, it turns out that I love Christmas Eve celebrations so much more than I ever dreamed, and I have learned to be genuinely thankful for whichever folks end up around the table. In my times with the Lord, I find he is still encouraging me to let go of so much that used to define my life and hold everything that falls into my hands very loosely.

I will not deny that this continues to be hard for me. This season in which we live has brought much change to so many lives and so many are experiencing different hardships than what they have ever faced before. But with all of my heart, I believe that the Lord is powerfully working on behalf of those whose hearts are committed to him. In 2 Chronicles 16:9 we are reminded that His eyes roam to and fro over all the earth on behalf of those whom He has perfected and is perfecting in love.

He sees this 67 year-old-woman in a suburb of a large city learning to let go of old traditions and be open to the new. He sees me daily struggling to surrender my personal agenda to him. And He sees you. So wherever you are and whatever you are struggling to let go of, the best news is that now and always  He is tenderly leading and He is rejoicing over us with love!

“There is a time for everything, and a season for every activity under the heavens: a time to be born and a time to die, a time to plant and a time to uproot, a time to kill and a time to heal, a time to tear down and a time to build, a time to weep and a time to laugh, a time to mourn and a time to dance, a time to scatter stones and a time to gather them, a time to embrace and a time to refrain from embracing, a time to search and a time to give up, a time to keep and a time to throw away, a time to tear and a time to mend, a time to be silent and a time to speak, a time to love and a time to hate, a time for war and a time for peace.”  Ecclesiastes 3:1-9 (NIV)

I have been thinking a great deal about Mr. Rogers lately as I have observed my neighborhood coming alive in new ways. When the middle of March arrived, most of us were talking and texting from behind closed doors, and the streets around me were largely empty. Then as soon as the weather became “tolerable,” out came the walkers, usually one by one and then slowly two by two, always carefully distanced unless they were from the same household. And as the temperatures continued to warm and schools closed down, the bicycle riders came out in full force. These are not the bent over serious athletic road warrior type of bikers on glittering machines, rather these are bikers with little baskets on the front, horns that go ding-a-ling and training wheels that might have just been removed. The bicycles are brightly colored: pink and purple or navy blue with racing stripes. Sometimes they have decals that look like superheroes or perhaps a favorite Disney character. These cyclists weave and they wobble, and almost all have an adult in tow, but everybody is wearing a face that is wreathed in smiles beneath their decorated helmets.

I marvel, for the first time, that this year it was not hard to get our local police to install electronic speed reminders because there are so many folks out on the street in our neighborhood at all times of day. Somedays when I drive my car, I feel like I am threading through a maze . . . a maze of walkers and bikers of all shapes, sizes and ages. It is complicated and delightful!

I have also seen street hockey and capture-the-flag games, swing sets in full use, forts-a-plenty being built, and lots of art on display everywhere. Yards are green, vegetables are growing at a prodigious rate and flowers are well tended and blooming their hearts out. While there are many empty parking lots in the office buildings I drive by every day, I can’t help but notice that sidewalks outside them are often filled with people who are walking or running.

I am also thankful that these days I do not have to tack on an extra 30-45 minutes of drive time each time I get in my car for the possibility of a traffic jam. By and large, the traffic in Nashville seems like it did 10 years ago.

I don’t spend money on clothes, but I have bought new flip flops and tennis shoes. The lipstick and make-up have gone out the window and are probably drying up by now. I am wearing my sun hat, buying more sunscreen than I ever have, and am getting callouses on my thumbs and an ache in my back from weeding. Because I water every day, the weeds still have the jump on me.

Without a doubt, my life is slower. My grandkids are reading more books and so am I. I have discovered I like the music of Frank Sinatra. My Bible is a long-standing companion whose wisdom has never been more relevant or timely. Life for all of us is paced differently. My calendar has stretches of empty days for the first time in many years.

If I look for the silver lining, without a doubt it is there. It is staring me in the face. A commodity that had become rare in my life, is now running over me like a waterfall in a parched land. Time. Time to stop. Time to listen. Time to learn. Time to love. Time to ponder. Time to count my blessings one by one, and then when the counting’s done…LOOK to see what God has done.

I am keeping my eyes peeled and I hope you are too.